I wish I was a little more brave....

It's really funny. I'm such a joker, I can't stop laughing at myself. For the past few days, I've been staying up late. I would do my studies till 1 a.m., and then switch on to the internet. That all seems normal, no? Facebook and MSN. I enjoy the benefits and convenience both these social networking sites have to offer. But i realized, these two networks brings a lot of mental stress and emotional distress. I mean last night, I wanted a friend to go online. I kept on checking the 'friends online list' till it was past midnight, but to no avail. While waiting, I did my usual routine, read mangas, update my blog and played a few games of chess while listening to some good music. I'm sure you all know how you're notified when someone signs in at msn, there'll be an icon, right? When my friend signed in, and that icon popped at the bottom left corner of my computer screen, saying "....just signed in" my eyes lit up. I was jubilant. I quickly doubled clicked her name, opening a chat bow and readily set my fingers onto the alphabets on the keyboard. I stopped. I didn't know what to say. All that long hours waiting for her, now that's she's on, I didn't know how to engage a conversation. I lightly slapped my cheek and laughed at my pathetic situation. I just wish I was a little more brave....