tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87368201100462591452024-03-20T18:15:22.502+08:00you are my demon...i love youroyal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-13249843937515451222011-06-24T13:33:00.002+08:002011-06-24T15:33:29.164+08:00A sliver of my heart came back to me...<p class="MsoNormal">The cold breeze blew right at me as I was walking on the pavement of the train station, messing up my unkempt hazel brown hair. It was excruciatingly painful. I felt as if a thousand if not a million of needle like ice fragments pierced through my chest. I pulled up the zipper of my red and black checkered Converse jacket to warm myself. I brought my palms up to my face and blew hard at them before rubbing them at my cheeks. I was exhausted; I had just attended the most woefully beautiful wedding reception. Yours, that is. It’s ironic, how I was the first one to receive an invitation. At first, I tried convincing myself that it was some kind of sick joke that you were merely trying to pull my leg. However, no matter what I did or said to pacify myself, the truth remained the same. You were getting married and I’m not the groom-to-be. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">To be honest, I was in two minds, fidgeting whether or not I should show up at your wedding. Part of me felt somewhat obliged to show my pathetic face to you. Simply because it was only natural for the ‘best friend’ to be there to cheer you on as your daddy handed you in the hands of the man who’s going to share his last name with you. On the other hand, as the guy who thought he was your lover whom in reality was a victim of unrequited love, I might actually clench my fist real hard and punch your “hubby’s” face with utmost pressure the moment he uttered the word ‘I do’. In the end, I came to a conclusion. I would come, drop my gift and disappear.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Here, I am now pulling off my Houdini like act. I had already bought a train ticket to get out of this place. Where to? That remains a mystery. I was running away….from you, from reality and hopefully from this pain. All I wanted to do now was to get onto the train into my reserved compartment and get a good forty winks. Upon reaching my $299 ‘box’, I stuffed my Nike backpack into the allocated space. Before, I sat down; I reached for my IPod in my jeans pocket, popped the earphones in my ears and hit the next button till it reached ‘August Serenade’. Somehow, I had a yearning to listen to it, probably because it me in my current situation. The song was about what would happen if you were gone….but you really were. I reduced the volume and closed my eyes, trying to get some sleep.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Just as I was about to drift into my not so illusory dreams, the loud slamming of the compartment door woke me up. Even so, I pretended to be fast asleep.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I was reluctant to engage in any sort of ice-breaking conversations. Despite my futile attempt to stay quiet, I yelped out in pain as someone stepped on my right foot. I was purple with rage now. I jumped to my feet and reached for the culprits’ collar. However, instead of giving brat a piece of my mind with some verbal lashing, I released my forceful clutch.</p><p class="MsoNormal">It was you, in blue jeans and a white tank top. You were panting heavily, shivering and your hair was all messed up. “What are you doing here?!” I asked confused. You just gave me a smile and sunk your face in my chest.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-45357376001196066012011-06-18T16:51:00.003+08:002011-06-18T17:54:01.396+08:0032/35 directed writing ^^A very good morning, I bid to Mr. Abdul Aziz our English teacher, my fellow friends and classmates. Here I am again, to present a talk on a topic that's so very common amongst us. You see, our dear English sir has given me the honour to enlighten you on how our Malaysian government hopes to encourage students to have a healthy lifestyle. I do hope that after my speech, you, my fellow friends do gain something beneficial and change for the better.<div><br /></div><div>The effects of not practicing a healthy lifestyle are explicit. We technically become the 'home' for all sorts of diseases, from diabetes and obesity to heart attacks and high blood pressure. The saying 'you are what you eat' is very true. We students, spends half of our time at school. Some of us even rush to school with our bed hair without a bite to eat at home. Hence, we tend to 'compensate' the hunger with a larger portion of late breakfast at school. However, is that meal good for us? If is not, why so? Food quality perhaps?</div><div><br /></div><div>Young sirs and madams,</div><div>Our magnificent government has taken notice of such scenarios as I've mentioned. They hope for the people's best, our best. The food sold at the school canteens are without a shred of doubt delicious. But, everything comes with a price. French fries, 'roti canai', burgers, fizzy drinks and other fast foods aren't healthy at the least. Yet we love them, there's no stopping us from getting what we want, right? Hence, the government has announced a few simple yet affective mechanisms to put a halt to the selling of these unhealthy delicacies. For instance, unhealthy food should not be allowed to be sold in school canteens and unhealthy drinks will be banned in school canteens. In line with that, even hawkers are not allowed to sell junk food and tidbits outside the school grounds. What do we eat then, baked beans? Be patient.</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; "><br /></span></div><div>Now, with all the food with high contents of cholesterol and sugar gone, part of our problem is solved. It's a sad fact that schools these days are focusing on one thing only. Educational excellence. That isn't right. The government hopes for schools to organize programmes on exercise. Students should be encouraged to participate in active co-curriculum and aggressive sports. 'A healthy body homes a healthy mind'. Students should also be taught on healthy eating habits. It doesn't stop there. The school should work hand in hand with the Parents Teachers Association and work out a healthy diet menu for the students. Instead of selling 'nasi lemak', provide plain rice, steamed fish and vegetables. Take out Coca-cola, substitute them with low-fat yogurts. 'Roti canai' to the dust bin and welcome the Cheerios! It's a misconception that healthy food aren't a treat for your taste buds.</div><div><br /></div><div>Boys and girls,</div><div>Did you know that the government is actually purple with rage at our parents? It's a known fact that contemporary parents are living a dog's life in this materialistic world. They can't even spend a modicum of their time with us. The government, ushers parents to monitor their children's weight. Make sure, they are at the pink of health. Take us to annual health check-ups and bi-annual visits to the dentist. 'Prevention is better than cure'.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's all the hopes and wishes of our government to encourage us in leading a good lifestyle. But, I'm not finished. I want to blame someone. Myself. Come on guys, if we don't look after ourselves, who will? We are all young adults, we should read more. Magazines such as the 'Reader's Digest' and 'Biolife' constantly highlight issues on leading a healthy lifestyle. We're so absorbed into the internet. Why not one day, while you're updating your 'facebook' status, open up another tab and browse the web on a list of exercises maybe? Nothing is impossible! If you have the willpower you can do anything!</div><div><br /></div><div>Before I step down, I wish for all of you to lead a healthy lifestyle. Do it right! Start now! On behalf of our government I bid 1 Malaysia: People First, Achievements Prioritized! <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; "> </span></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-78292368572738950702011-06-09T23:51:00.003+08:002011-06-10T01:13:18.384+08:00my dear whisperer....I felt a sudden chill rush upwards from my toes. As I slowly opened my eyes a bright surge of white light shone into my eyes. My eyes felt a faint burning sensation. Quickly, I closed my already squinted eyes and pulled my thick comforter up over my head covering my face. I refused to get up and repeat my dog's life like mundane lifestyle. As I was settling back into my illusory dreams, someone yanked my soft comforter away from the end where it covered my legs. I could guess it was you who was culpable of it. <div><br /></div><div>The faint aroma of freshly brewed coffee made it's way from the kitchen to our bedroom. Stimulating my olfactory nerves. I was somehow enchanted by it. Then, the right side of my bed slowly sunk in as you sat next to me bearing the scent of Shokubutsu shampoo. You held me by my neck gently, as if if you'd apply even a modicum more of pressure my neck would've snapped. As you moved closer and kissed my forehead, I ran my fingers through your wet hair entangling them at your curls. I opened my eyes, wanting to see you. You gave out a bright smile. So very alluring....I arched forward towards your lips. You had other plans, no? You foiled my futile attempt to steal a kiss and whispered something in my ear. </div><div><br /></div><div>Arising a hint of frustration. I was curious. I held your wrist and stared into your blue eyes. Confused. Lost. Somewhat like a child who had lost his mother. You got up, messed up my coal black bed hair and gave me another smile. This time filled with mischievousness before leaving the room. I pushed myself up and sat at the edge of my bed, wondering what you might have said to me. I felt like an ignoramus fool. I laughed at myself. You could have even screamed at me and I wouldn't be able to tell. I'm hopelessly pathetic. I lost my hearing on account of an accident a couple of years ago. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was devastated then, it felt as if the entire world was out of balance. I was afraid that I would drown due to my helplessness. To be exact, I was at the brink of insanity. It was then, when you conceived this 'thing' between us. Every morning you'd whisper something to me for me and I had to figure it out. I have to confess, at times you made me feel as if I could really hear. The first words you whispered to me are embedded into my memories. Even now tears well up at the corner of my eyes reminiscing about that day. Those were the words that crushed my self-centered egoistic pride. It dawned upon me then, I wasn't alone..... I had you </div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-77492403659658699452011-06-05T23:13:00.003+08:002011-06-06T15:38:01.582+08:00what's right and what's not?Was fucking bored over the holidays, don't know what to blog about....this is just some random crap. Feel free to comment though =)<div><br /></div><div>Is it normal for a person to kill another or for a man to rape a woman? Maybe. Situation and condition being the culpable factors. But, what about those maniacs who are serial killers and rapists. Monsters whom commit their egregious 'hobbies'? The answer is explicit. No. Now where does the burden of blame lie then? It's genetics, these people were born as monsters hence are they way they are. So it's only normal for society to have a strong sense of resentment towards this species of beings.<div><br /></div><div>What about people with abnormal sexualities then? These individuals haven't done much atrocities...compared to psychopaths. However, they ain't normal and again genetics are the main causal agent. Whether it's right or wrong is a different question, is it of societies norm? No. Hence, without a shred of doubt there will be eyes that look down upon them, fingers pointed at them as if there's a target behind their back and whispers conceive about and around them. </div><div><br /></div><div>"Humans are afraid of something which is different" is a quote from some movie. It's true. People are fragile. I was once an ignorant and fragile person whom was afraid of these abnormalities. My fear evolved into hate. As I grew older, I began realizing that these people didn't choose to become what they are. They were born that way. I would say they're 'crippled' hormone wise. Make no mistake, they aren't sick. They can't prescribe medication. Hence, are irremediable.</div><div><br /></div><div>I often times witness first-hand people beleaguer the people of these kinds. It's burdens me to think that these innocent people are victims, chained down to verbal, mental and sometimes even physical abuse. A faint sense of guilt due to my helplessness often time arises. I'm no hero. I don't possess the bravery to do so either. All I can do is watch from afar, whispering to myself...,"I know what it feels like". </div><div><br /></div></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-42434523822635595542011-06-02T01:12:00.003+08:002011-06-02T01:33:18.152+08:00Can't you see what I can?Some people are just ignorant. Maybe, I'm the one who's too observant. I have an outlandish hobby. Observing. I like looking at things, sceneries, people and other stuff. I'm not trying to be judgmental or anything. I just like thinking about other things in a new or different perspective. Often times I spot things which are very beautiful and I'm generous enough to point it out to my friends. But it surprises me that they don't see things the way I do. For instance, the blush-like shade the sky gives off at the crack of dawn, the glowing crescent accompanied by a thousand if not a million stars and the glowing sun. Well, i guess beauty really is in the eye if the beholder.<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>While I'm at it, many people has asked why my name on fb is Kiiro Taiyou. Well, I love the sun and the color yellow. Kiiro means yellow and Taiyou means sun in Japanese. so there you go =)<div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-41012609875519105842011-05-17T00:21:00.003+08:002011-05-17T01:13:07.609+08:00My innocent tongue...Thursdays and Fridays are officially my revered day. Simply because I get to see you. Yet again last Friday, I managed to conceive and string in another bead with you imprinted onto it in my chain of memories. <div><br /></div><div>I'm simply turn into a six year old when your around. Thinking like one. Acting like one...gosh. Well as usual after CAE, I rushed out to line up in front of room no. 4, right behind the counter. JACKPOT!! You were there in your red t-shirt and beige shorts. The best part was no one was at the back of you. My legs were so fast to you, I pulled on a cool face. I smiled ear to ear. I saw my goofy classmate at the far front, so close to the door almost kissing it. I called out to him on purpose and engaged a conversation. Then, his girlfriend joined us. I cracked a joke with them for you, indirectly though. You understood. I presume. You smiled over the edge. I kept fidgeting, while doing so, spotted an old friend that happen to attend the similar secondary school as you. I offered for her to stand in line next to me. </div><div><br /></div><div>You see, the tuition I go to, at the far left of the counter there are a few tables. There were stacks of books and a whole lot of tidbits. I was standing next to a table with loads of food. There was a small tupperware with some nuts in them. " That's the nuts you liked in the barli soup the other day!" Shien Shin called out to me. Honestly, those nuts were heavenly. I went on saying mischievously ,"oh...should I take one?". Instantly, one of my friends dared for me to take one. I was in two minds, whether to do it or not. I mean, if I got caught, I would me in so much trouble. On the other hand, you were right in front of me, I can't possibly chicken out.</div><div><br /></div><div>After throwing much tantrum, I mustered the courage to take of the lid and throw one of the nuts into my mouth. I pushed the nut into the space between my teeth at my right jaw and gave it a crush. "WAIT!! IT'S BITTER!!", Shien shin pointed out to me. It was too late, the juice from the seed already spread onto my innocent tongue. God it killed me! It was disgusting. Worse than any medicine I've been prescribed to. My act of bravado to impress you was foiled, instead I amused you.</div><div><br /></div><div>However, it wasn't a waste. You laughed. That alone was enough to cure me.</div><div><br /></div><div> </div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-52223930942629281342011-05-14T15:12:00.009+08:002014-10-10T15:16:43.913+08:00unrequited.<div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 1.5em;">I'm starting to realize what a fool I've been. I can't blame anyone for the chimera I seem to be. It's stupid isn't it? A few days ago I felt something different, like I left something behind. I paid no heed though, convinced myself that it was my brain </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">malfunctioning due to exam stress. It only dawned upon me when I was checking the inbox of my broken black N70. There it was, your sole message that I've kept for about a month now. You haven't crossed my mind in a while. I knew it was a momentary 'thing'. Not thinking of you or whining about you. But it wasn't.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 1.5em;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 1.5em;">You didn't reply, I didn't care. You passed by, I felt nothing. You spoke, I didn't waver. You weren't my kryptonite no more.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 1.5em;">I did graduate from you, but went on with someone else......loving you was painful, I don't think I've ever fallen so hard for anyone. I promise to bury these feelings within me. Now on, you're nothing more than just a friend.</span></span></div>
royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-34465342376758558192011-04-23T01:10:00.004+08:002011-04-23T22:59:35.062+08:00Arkitek Kota ^^<div style="text-align: justify;">The hair follicle on my hands were erect. Probably due to the room which was pretty chilly. It was BM lesson. The second class occupying my Friday evenings. Subsequent, after my Cambridge one. Todays lesson started off with the teacher browsing through a list of idioms and catchy phrases that were ideal to be used in essays. After that, it was the main course. BM literature. Better known as KOMSAS. It was a poem. 'Arkitek Kota'. Before moving on with the rest of the lesson, the teacher took his black marker and wrote 'profession' and the numerics 1 to 5 in a vertical order on the white board. He asked for us to list them. A handful of students kept repeating the obvious answers, which were 'doctor' and 'lawyer'. Then, there was momentary silence before I suggested architect. Trying to sound smart. My voice had a cheeky tone. The teacher looked at me from the corners of his eyes causing some of the students to laugh. then, he averted his gaze back at the white board, jotted my answer and placed the marker at '4' to pen down his next thought. As he was busy searching his 'database' again I kindly offered an answer. This time in a smoky cool voice. 'Porn Star'. Almost the entire class burst in laughter. I even had half of them applause for me. I felt proud for a moment. I was happy. I saw you from the back. You were laughing. Because of me. We don't even know each other. But, I think I love you. Just looking at you helps subside the woeful pain she imposes onto me. If there's anyone who can cause me to drift away from abiding the chimera like feelings I have for her, it's without a shred of doubt, you. For that, I thank you. </div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-42411778121128181742011-03-29T12:04:00.002+08:002011-03-29T12:11:58.730+08:00i'm a fool, no?If you looked at me,<div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>i'd give you a nod,</div><div>If you smiled at me,</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>i'd give you a grin,</div><div>If you spoke with me,</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>i'd tell you a lie,</div><div>If you lied to me,</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>i'd tell you the truth,</div><div>If you cared for me,</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>i'd give you the cold shoulder,</div><div>If you ignored me,</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>i'd be giving you my concerns,</div><div>If you hated me,</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>i'd still be in love for you,</div><div><br /></div><div>if.... just if you fell for me.....without a modicum of doubt,</div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span> i'd definitely abandon you</div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-15664324842648743662011-03-15T00:55:00.002+08:002014-10-10T15:22:56.743+08:00I'm burdened by overwhelming guilt and disappointed.<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I'm burdened by overwhelming guilt and disappointed. Just when I thought things were easing up in my life, a chain of bad event proved me otherwise. Where should I start? Parents perhaps.They seem to be ignoring me recently. My dad does it openly, and my mom tries really hard to make it seem less obvious. I'm not really disturbed by it. But when everyone ignores you....even the coldest person at heart feels a piercing sense of pain. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Next, the first ever monthly test. God....I fell ill on the second day of the exam. What's worse, it was Add Math, Physics and Chemistry! I planned to finish it quickly and have a short nap but time had other plans. The time allocated for each paper was about an hour. It was a ngam ngam oi situation....I wasn't able to catch forty winks. Next,</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">KDU DATUK CQ TEO NATIONAL DEBATE TOURNAMENT. This years team consisted of myself as the whip speaker, Azim as the prime minister and KJSeng as the deputy prime minister. Despite winning 3 out of the 5 preliminary rounds we didn't get sufficient point to break into the top 16 teams. I feel responsible for the last loss. I could've twisted a single term in the topic that would've definitely secured us a win hands down. All I had to do was say THW allow the media to show nudity in the name of SCIENCE, HEALTH and EDUCATION instead of art. This proves my brain needs more exercise.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I just hope for the sun to shine a little on my side. I would really love to bask down under the yellow glow of its warm ray..... </span></span></div>
royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-62009089495713304842011-01-31T13:10:00.006+08:002011-02-01T02:47:49.828+08:00... I love the rain ...<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>A dream. I really wanted this to be one. You are very beautiful today. In that white satin, you looked somewhat pure. It was elegant, the way you walked down the boulevard of pink cherry blossoms aisle with your coal black hair let loose, having curls at the bottom. Ah...your wearing that necklace I bought you, but why? It's funny how I came to buy it. It called to me, that 14 carat diamond necklace, it would look good on you. That's honestly what I had running through my mind. Seeing it on you now, it's pale in comparison to your angelic smile.<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>I let out a sigh, as you father handed you in. Patting the back of your palm, covered in a fine piece of white silk. You were so close to me, as I was to the man holding you now. The man who is to share his last name with you. I'm just the 'best' man. It annoyed me, how the both of you were smiling ear to ear trying to hold back that laughter filled with happiness and joy. He's an architect in the Quill Company, Greenland branch. Me? I'm just some lecturer in a torn down university. ''He's very ravishing....", that's the only thing I forced myself to say when you first introduced me to him. The priest was saying all those boring stuff. My eyes were locked onto one single thing. You. But you never caught me staring at you, not once...you never saw me, did you? </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>"Do you take this man as your husband?", the dude in black dress asked you. I felt like sinking my fist with utmost force into his face at that very instant. "I do!", you said. Upon hearing those words, I felt only one thing. Pain. It was excruciating. It felt like a million, if not a thousand needle like ice fragments piercing through my chest. Cold. I couldn't sense a modicum of warmth in me. The crowd cheered as the both of were in each others arm, exchanging soft kisses. There she goes... I lost you for good. At that moment, the only thing I felt was lust infused with greed. I realized I wouldn't be the one lending you a hand taking that white wedding gown off that night. It wouldn't be me who is going to unbutton your dress from the back, brushing my hands down under that white piece of satin of yours onto the back of your soft and snow white like bare skin. I felt a faint sense of shame at the thought that went in my mind then. I craved a devilish smile. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>The crowd cleared out, people into the hall to get a piece of the wedding cake I guess, but not me. I was too busy watching over as you walked away with your husband wrapping his arms around your small waist. My sight was getting blurrier by the second. You're so very beautiful. It was a sin to love you. The fingers on my right hand automatically places it self over my eyes onto my forehead covering the pearl like tears that kept flowing down.".....but I loved you"</div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-27181964009480732142011-01-28T00:02:00.000+08:002014-10-10T15:26:09.958+08:00Who's the best person to get drenched in the rain with?<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="font-size: medium; white-space: pre;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span">5.30...I woke up to 'Need you- Travis McCoy' as it was my alarm ringtone. I pulled my self up, my upper body in a sitting position with my legs still 'asleep'. I was still drowsy and it was so very tempting to lay back, curled up in my duck feathered comforter. I succumbed. Using my body weight I pushed myself back, with the idea of having my head beat into my fluffy pillow soaked in the scent of my drool. But I guess, I'm destined to be in pain. My head hit the upper frame of my bed. Hard. Pain. Excruciatingly sharp. I wasn't drowsy no more, the back of my crown was pretty numb. I made my way to the kitchen and got some water to be boiled. It's a small favor. That way my mom can make coffee straight away. She makes the best wake-up coffee. The aroma of coffee infused in milk is just so very seducing in a weird way. It makes you wanna just lock your lips onto the tip of that white mug and enjoy every single sip as it makes it way down your throat warming up your chest. Well, after the usual bath, brushing and other preparations before school, I decided to walk to school. Just had the feeling of having a brisk walk along the road where there's the musky smoke from the school bus in the air, the dew drops falling causing you to sneeze and just hoping that car with 'you' passes by. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This whole week is to be wasted on registration for co-curricular stuff, today, THURSDAY was sports. I had a little confusion. I wanted to represent my school's badminton team this year, but there's chess. I can't just walk out, not after being the Vice President. So, I ended up sticking with the nerds.....chess that is. I was pretty surprised that the amount of students who registered were more than a handful. Since when was chess popular? After two periods, studies will continue as usual. My class had Chemistry. PEKA!!! It was pretty stressful. My graph of temperature against the rate of reaction wasn't really perfect. There was nothing I could do....it's the result my group obtained and we can't change as of when we like to. Disappointed, after another experiment we went back to class. It was supervision. However, our class teacher had different plans, she got us our 'BORANG PENDAFTARAN SPM'. Smoothly and swiftly I filled up the blanks and other required details using my blue ball point Faber-Castell pen. It dawned upon me, I'm in form 5. I've got SPM. I'm gonna be 17. It's gonna be 'your' last year. I'm probably not gonna see you ever again...I wanna tell you how I feel about you but I can't. I'm not allowed to I guess. I placed both my arms on my blue desk, wrapping each other, pushing them forward, making my usual 'pillow'. I sunk my face in onto it when the bell rang. It was recess. I was famished...I grabbed my so-called California Apple and gave it a violent bite. The scent of the apple was as sweet as it tasted. I licked the juice that was dripping out from where I pierced my teeth into earlier. I got up and out to 5 Murni to see a friend. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>FYI, there's this very intelligent kid in 5 Murni. She always gets first in class and in the form. I always looked up to her and thought if we were ever friend we would be talking about biology or something. Ironically, it wasn't academic stuff that got us into conversations but korean pop stars! TVXQ, JYJ and other guys who wore make up....XD. Today, was a PEKA filled day. After lazing around an extra period after recess I remembered that I was supposed to be down in the Bio Lab for an experiment. Luckily, the teacher didn't notice my late entry. Yet again, my marks weren't full. I forgot to write about the technique and lost a point. Haiz...The whole class forgot about the A4 paper for the cross-section and longitudinal-section diagrams. Everyone had to go around begging for some....my fate was similar. Finally, when everyone had it, the bell rang. Period ends, it's Add Math next. Oh GOD!!!! We were asked to hand in out PEKA before going back home, god it was a pain in the ass. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>When I hoped for things to get a little bit better, it just gets worse. Homework and paperwork keeps piling up, to the already stacked up homeworks. I got really mad and decided to sleep off the last lesson. It was sejarah, nothing important....just the same old notes and stuff. For 35 minutes, I enjoyed my sleep peacefully without any interference. Then, it was time to get up and go home. It was raining. I love the rain. Always have, always will. This year my neighbor and I have been walking back home together, and we did the same this afternoon. It was really funny. I told her that I liked today rain because it smells clean. I liked it because it drops of water fell on my skin with the right amount of pressure. It wasn't irritatingly sharp or painfully heavy. It was perfect. She laughed, that's about the only thing I've ever seen her do. Then, I said,"Did you know? In Japan if it was raining, and you shared an umbrella with a guy, it will be perceived that you're in a relationship with that guy". "oh....", that's what she said. But she was a little surprised. Then I asked her do you know who's the best person to get drenched in the rain with? She just shook no. I took a deep breath and said ,'It's the person you're in love with' in a low clear and sad voice. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I would really wish to walk with you in the rain....</span></div>
royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-16812976742047920892010-11-15T14:33:00.000+08:002010-11-15T15:38:26.540+08:00Electrochemical Series<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This conversation takes place in a certain place between two people (lovers), a girl and a boy;</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Boy: What's wrong? I don't get it....why are you breaking up with me?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px; font-size: small;">Girl: What can I say, there's just no chemistry bet...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px; font-size: small;">Boy: What's with there's no chemistry, physics or add math ?! We're in a relationship! Not some pop quiz!!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px; font-size: small;">Girl: Fine. I'll be honest, I'm seeing someone else.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px; font-size: small;">Boy: o_O...Who? How? Why?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px; font-size: small;">Girl: It's boy 2. He's just everything I wanted you to be...Sorry;p</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px; font-size: small;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px; font-size: small;"> </span></span><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKUco20IfROr1zztoGGE3dHnHc7HyW5Bwvcs_f3rUOhqFizm_XreQ9mVHp8-PS-CymvqYWs8R7wqX6tmCgXmiCSvxwykFMjhKFOcT40pC4sxohRg4V-83XdkBntUYIKMs-Dy64hk8aYEoB/s320/500px-ElectrochemicalSeries.png" /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; ">Have you been in a relationship where you were cheated on or replaced by someone else? It does hurt doesn't it when the person you love leaves you for someone else, and when you demand for a reason all they can say is, 'There's just no chemistry'. It really pisses you off no? </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; ">Little did you know, it actually is chemistry! Some of you reading this, can understand the electrochemical series above, some of you don't. So for those of you who are still scratching your head, here's a quick chemistry lesson. On the left hand side are the positive ions, which are metals. There stronger metals are at the bottom getting weaker as the go higher.On the right hand side are the negative ions. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; ">NOW, here's the important part. There's something called,'metal displacement', where stronger metals replace the weaker ones. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; ">Now, let me give you a compound, NaCl also known as sodium chloride which is salt. Refer to the table to identify Na+ position. When NaCl is placed in a solution, CuSo</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">4</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">, copper (ii) sulphate solution. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; ">Refer to the table to identify Cu2+ position. Since, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; ">Cu2+ ion is lower than </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; ">Na+ ion, copper (ii) ion is stronger than Sodium ion and is able to displace it forming CuCl</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">2.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; ">What's this got to do with relationships? Well, if you're being cheated on, it simply means the third person is 'stronger' than you, hence, replaces you! Well, this is just for fun, nothing serious.^^ </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 14px; "> </span></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-65733674660972115582010-11-13T14:10:00.000+08:002010-11-13T15:02:38.512+08:00Only 24/30 for rumusan...so sad<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>http//zero.facebook.com. Inilah laman web yang sering dikunjungi remaja kontemporari. Mereka akan meluangkan masa yang panjang untuk mengemaskini status mereka, 'poke' rakan-rakan mereka dan sebagainya. Kesannya, mereka kurang melibatkan diri dalam perkara-perkara yang bermanfaat dan akhirnya menjadi sampah masyarakat. Remaja merupakan aset sesebuah negara. Terdapat beberapa ciri remaja yang cemerlang.<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Membaca jambatan ilmu. Remaja yang cemerlang sudah pasti menghargai ilmu pengetahuan. Ini kerana, dia sedar akan manfaat yang dapat diperoleh daripada menelaah buku-buku ilmiah. Membaca merupakan prasyarat bagi remaja cemerlang. Sedangkan rata-rata anak muda membazirkan wang ibu bapa mereka melakukan perkara-perkara laknat, seorang reamaj cemerlang akan bijak menggunakannya untuk membeli buku-buku ilmiah seperti, "The Outliers","Reader's Digest","Kuntum" dan lain-lain lagi.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>'Masa itu emas', merupakan antara falsafah hidup remaja cemerlang. Remaja cemerlang akan mengisi masa lapang dengan melakukan perkara-perkara berfaedah. Misalnya, menyertai kelas seni ukir, menganyam dan kraf tangan. Kemahiran-kemahiran sebegini yang menjadi acuan untuk membentuk seorang remaja yang holistik dan cemerlang.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Selain itu, seorang remaja akan menjadikan rukun negara serta wawasan negara sebagai wawasan diri. Kesopanan dan kesusilaan serta moto 1 Malayisa; Rakyat didahulukan, pencapaian diutamakan akan disanjung tinggi seorang remaja cemerlang. Dia akan mengamalkan budi bahasa, berbakti kepada masyarakat dan sentiasa sedia membantu golongan yang tidak berkemampuan.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>'Otak yang cergas terdapat pada badan yang cergas'. Remaja cemerlang akan mengamalkan gaya hidup yang sihat. Contohnya, melibatkan diri dalam sukan yang agresif, mengamalkan tabiat pemakanan yang sihat dan menjauhi aktiviti-aktiviti yang boleh memudaratkan kesihatan seperti merokok, menagih dadah dan mengambil minuman beralkohol.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Kesimpulannya, setiap anak watan haruslah mengambil inisiatif untuk menyemai ciri-ciri remaja cemerlang pada sanubarinya. Ini dapat melahirkan model insan yang sempurna dan sekali gus meningkatkan sosioekonomi negara. Tahap kestabilan politik, kemakmuran ekonomi, kecemerlangan pendidikan. kesejahteraan sosial dan kecanggihan industri Malaysia akan setaraf dengan negara-negara maju seperti Kanada. Perancis, Jerman, Jepun, Amerika Syarikat dan Rusia. Dapatlah kita "Berdiri sama tinggi, duduk sama rendah" dengan mereka.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">(I'm suguz student^^)</span></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-78800489065803528142010-11-12T09:32:00.000+08:002014-10-10T15:30:04.400+08:00What should I blog about?It's a Friday morning. It's raining. It's cold. Really cold. I don't really know what to blog about. I'm sitting in front of my computer, turned my head towards out of the window pane, looking at the Bangladesh dude cycling pass my house, with a heap of plastic bottles tied to the back. I got almost all my results back, 9 out of 10 papers. Overall, it's alright but I'm not satisfied with it. I seriously think I'm academically deteriorating, simply because I'm too busy wasting my precious time thinking about 'some sakai'. Kesian myself.... Starting off with my worst ones, add math. I got a depressing 76%. If only I had pay more attention in class, I would have known to give my answers in 4 significant figure and not 4 decimal place. Haiz haiz....Next, BM i got an A^^, although it was a weak 81% I'm happy. Followed by math and biology, both As' 86%. Physics was cool, I scored 40/40 for my essay section, but got an overall 82%. chemistry was a little disappointing, I only managed to muster out a weak 84%. This end term, I got the highest score for account, hahaha!!!! 88% a little more and it could have been an A+. Moving on, so far I only got 2 A+'s and that for History and Moral. 91% and 90% respectively. According to my neighbor I got 70 something for both my sivik and kesihatan paper. What about english? GOD knows, as usual it's still in pending. Mr. Aziz says it'll be out on Monday, hope I get an A. At the end of this post, I ended up crapping about my results.royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-36005435138934672682010-10-18T14:43:00.000+08:002010-10-18T15:02:53.480+08:00Two down eight more to go.....Today, is the second day of my end term examination.....haiz haiz.....Friday was my Accounts paper an god it was hell. My first question didn't balance and I didn't have much confidence with the remaining questions. That's paper II. Paper one was a serious joke, upon seeing the first question I was relieved, but the next 9 questions...I left it blank. Well back to today's paper, I only knew paper one was karangan 10 minutes before the god damn paper! I freaked out! The questions were not bad but still there's always that slight feeling of anxiety when you're doing your papers. After recess was paper II. By and far the paper was okay I would say. I could do the ringkasan, wrapped it up in only 114 words^^, pemahaman umum wasn't bad....Sadly I couldn't answer all the 'apakah maksud rangkaian kata' questions. I think we were lucky with the set of words given in at the bina ayat section. It was known words and pretty straight forward. The simpulan bahasa part was a joke.... I wrote the similar answer for the first and second question and they're probably wrong~ I'm confident my last answer is right ! BERDIRI SAMA TINGGI, DUDUK SAMA RENDAH!! The novel was shitty....why? I forgot about it....totally....had no time to revise. I just hope I can muster out an A.royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-46451845584714247462010-10-10T14:03:00.000+08:002010-10-10T14:25:25.688+08:00I can't even express a modicum of my feelings to you...<div style="text-align: left;">On the long, sleepless nights, the feelings I send you whisper "that is love"</div><div style="text-align: left;">continuously shaking speech that moves you to tears changes into a slight fever mingled with a sigh</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Give me a smile and shiny days,</div><div style="text-align: left;">by your smile I can withstand the cold of a frozen night,</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Whoever you love, your feelings reaches them right?</div><div style="text-align: left;">Don't say I'll be fine, your words are dancing in space</div><div style="text-align: left;">The further apart you go, the more I chase you</div><div style="text-align: left;">The more my heart feels the cruel distance</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Even if my love reaches the breaking point, 1/3 of it won't reach</div><div style="text-align: left;">My true feelings are just spinning on air, my heart isn't even saying "I love you"</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-11775127487328296322010-10-09T17:37:00.000+08:002010-10-31T20:48:30.761+08:00Music brought sunshine to my life........The very first instrument I've played is the Tabla. It's an Indian traditional instrument which is kinda like a drum, just that you have to use the palm of your hands instead of wooden sicks. My dad is a total expert in it, but My brothers and I just can seem 'to be one' with the drum like instrument. That was way back when I was a four year old kid. Then when I was nine, there was a rule at my school. All students must purchase a recorder and attend classes held at school. My first piece was 'Mary had a little lamb' a jolly song it was. For three years I was going strong with the recorder and stopped after that. It was as long as I could go, doing something that I didn't enjoy. For a period of time I never played anything, the now, after four years or so I suddenly have that urge to play an instrument. So I began to consider various instruments from the complex piano to a simple guitar and everything in between. Finally, I came to a conclusion, the harmonica. I googled basic info on the wind instrument and was thrilled. Then one day. I asked for a friends opinion, Shien Shin. Low Shien Shin is my classmate. A very jolly person. Fun to be with and she really know to make one smile or laugh out loud till you can cry. She told me to go on and give it a try. She even gave me a harmonica when i told her I wanted to try it out. It was a gorgeous 24 octave.....simply awesome. I'm still trying to get used to it, it's harder that I thought of it to be. I require more stamina, blowing power and drawing power. Thanks ss^^<div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><u><br /></u></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><u><br /></u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKWShaD7qIvHoJQ1ZhZ7mNZ7JUtDzuJQdKeNqK9zkKF51s2X1KpINjXEGC_X6gsjr97LlZPF_VU4R6H00CiH8axEMd5WVWdtmqZ6ROuu1i-i19uCCdlwtGHWmRymFfQ0qK33j_JGHTBZKD/s1600/DSCN0158.jpg"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaUed5EBijs4d4Ral7eU4OPo1CXbCwj6_MpgLoAhAQ3a6PgTB2AOjMOnjuxKyFagF_94fbWWDpGXZCsy7zUrkzj8Ffv-x9WLZjAsYoVvaW1diVxXcE3pyJc7QJSMXVL0ckyCkuL-EHZJA2/s1600/DSCN0158.jpg"><br /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><u><br /></u></span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6AdxUxinyg-uIhTeJpCbdzAf2487YTvMfu0znI2fckNf-RZNd0wJdeqdrmxZn8j_swokl0JBXHuX3tyx1Hn76SeaEIiW3Meqx0p0S6uLoghP9s3IlooP7ERClTNA8xyut12LN0Ym7aCed/s1600/DSCN0150.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6AdxUxinyg-uIhTeJpCbdzAf2487YTvMfu0znI2fckNf-RZNd0wJdeqdrmxZn8j_swokl0JBXHuX3tyx1Hn76SeaEIiW3Meqx0p0S6uLoghP9s3IlooP7ERClTNA8xyut12LN0Ym7aCed/s320/DSCN0150.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5525980127490006946" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBYQ1mtDchnTHBzLyjVya-4S9RVAYDSlDbWOponJNVR6CAdb6j6RYQex2I2rnGx_DN3x9QqkREmbxUbzSg6zy-LOlVY42NiBJeWhn1HZi_NJkpAEVBVIZcucSAZBprjqpBjGuJXnHsIoYO/s1600/DSCN0150%5B1%5D"><br /></a></div><br /><br /></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-70763193842668746382010-10-08T22:11:00.000+08:002010-10-09T04:13:28.235+08:00When it rain it pours.....<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">When it rain it pours. It's an idiom which literally means, having bad luck in a row. I had a heavy cloud following me around today. It started of this morning. I slept at the wee hours yesterday, it was early morning to be precise, 3.15 a.m. Hence, i woke at 7.10 and was late for school. I had a quick shower, changed within a couple of minutes and chucked the necessary books into my black nike bag. It was 7.25 by then, I decided to have my breakfast as I was worried I would collapse anytime soon. It was the usual Jacob cracker and a cup of milked coffee. I burnt my tongue when I tried to wash down the coffee in a single gulp. It was so hot I could feel my chest become warm in an instant. I reached school at 7.40 and guess who had to be so very generous to welcome my? Mr. Lim Meng 'the main man' in our school. He gave me a piece of his mind, I just apologized and made my way to the chemistry lab where my class was stationed for the day. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">School ended just like any other day. I walked back home with the company of my neighbor talking about tuition. Upon reaching home, I was pretty shocked to see the house in a mess. My mom looked at me straight in the eye and said,"go clean upstairs". I knew she was dead serious and didn't want any trouble so i just followed orders. I finished my chore and took a quick bath to wash off the stench of sweat from my body. Now, I was late for my BM tuition. Time was simply against me today. At tuition, Mr. Suguz had a bad sore throat, and I probably distracted his teaching since I was talking to my friend. He exploded, yelled at me and gave me a piece of his mind. I apologized but it was obvious it didn't make a modicum of difference. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Reaching home, I was half dead and god was I hungry! I opened the refrigerator took out two apples and a peach. I violently chowed them down. I almost choked. Later that night, I tried out the harmonica Shien Shin gave me, an awesome instrument!! After every blow and draw, I was out of breath..... I required more stamina. What's worse, I have to get up at 4 tomorrow morning to attend to a prayer ceremony at a temple in Ampang. Just hope there'll be some sunshine tomorrow..... </span></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-70030282213646556402010-10-08T00:50:00.000+08:002010-10-08T01:24:32.725+08:00I wish I was a little more brave....It's really funny. I'm such a joker, I can't stop laughing at myself. For the past few days, I've been staying up late. I would do my studies till 1 a.m., and then switch on to the internet. That all seems normal, no? Facebook and MSN. I enjoy the benefits and convenience both these social networking sites have to offer. But i realized, these two networks brings a lot of mental stress and emotional distress. I mean last night, I wanted a friend to go online. I kept on checking the 'friends online list' till it was past midnight, but to no avail. While waiting, I did my usual routine, read mangas, update my blog and played a few games of chess while listening to some good music. I'm sure you all know how you're notified when someone signs in at msn, there'll be an icon, right? When my friend signed in, and that icon popped at the bottom left corner of my computer screen, saying "....just signed in" my eyes lit up. I was jubilant. I quickly doubled clicked her name, opening a chat bow and readily set my fingers onto the alphabets on the keyboard. I stopped. I didn't know what to say. All that long hours waiting for her, now that's she's on, I didn't know how to engage a conversation. I lightly slapped my cheek and laughed at my pathetic situation. I just wish I was a little more brave....royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-49917386952809245172010-10-01T20:49:00.000+08:002010-10-01T21:23:50.961+08:00Why can't people just stop being selfish?It's a Friday today. Last night, a friend invited me for a jog and i agreed. But being me there was one problem. Approval from my parents. I was sick of being couped up in my own house, so I took the plunge this time. I lied to my mom. I told her that there wasn't school tomorrow but I had to go since I had Scouts meeting. She said fine. And so I went to bed that night guilty but excited. I woke up at the crack of dawn, brushed my teeth, took my shower, ate my breakfast with a plain white shirt on and my half wet towel wrapped around my waist. I had a cup of coffee and half a cracker. I walked to school with my brother and met Shien shin at the <i>pentas</i> out of school. She was wearing a black polo-T along with a pair of black shorts. The dark color of her attire complemented the color of her skin as she was reading a book. We talked a bit, and waited for the rest of the gang. When Wei See, Kok Hong and another dude who's name i don;t know came we left. We walked to FRIM, then was stopped at the entrance counter. We were asked to pay RM 1.00 as entrance fee. I don't know about the others but I sulked.....I honestly didn't want to pay, but had to. Then we continued. It was a nice slow nature walk. I felt like the burdens on my shoulders were slowly disappearing. It was really peaceful. Until Wei See started to pick us the pace, she started jogging, and the rest of us played 'follow the leader'. We jogged till the junction and took a right turn to head to the waterfall. We didn't go all the way. I was a little disappointed, Kok Hong asked if I wanted to go to the tennis court and I said yes without much thought. We were amateurs playing tennis. While the boys were playing I chatted with Shien Shin. It was the first time I saw her talk to me like that. She was emotionally hurt and I could do nothing. I felt angry. At my helplessness and the person who caused her this pain. MY question is why do people have to be selfish? If the person you love already has someone else, just be happy for them and live with it instead of hurting them. Just because you love A and A loves B, it doesn't mean you should hate or be mad at B. B loves A for the same reason you do.royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-42490349106702371412010-09-12T00:13:00.000+08:002010-09-12T01:40:46.058+08:00what happens when I go to book fairs.....<span class="Apple-style-span">Well, just so you know, I don't usually update my blog this frequently, but what the hell...The first day holiday broke was kinda dull, it was the same old routine minus school, tuition was earlier and the hours were added. I just felt like a preset robot or something in that line...until Wednesday. Why? My 'daddy' promised to take me to the book fair held at the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre. But, there was a catch. He would only pay if the books I was to buy was related to my current studies. WTF?!! I didn't have money in my black and white x-zone wallet, only pocket calenders and Mr. SAM's accounting notes. But I needed the money. so what did I do? I went mad. Insane, I tell you. On tuesday night, i went to my store room, quietly crept down the small room below the stair. The smell of old newspaper irritated my olfactory receptors. I bent down reaching for the pale green tool box which was in between the legs of the cold steel legs of the ladder. Pulling is forth, lifting it's lid I reached for the hammer. Yes, the hammer. With a modicum of force of my index finger i shut the lid and with the hammer went to my room. I took my elephant shaped </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span">tabung</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"> which was made out of clay, turn it over and hit it smack in the middle with the hammer. A perfect break in. I felt like I was stealing my own money, I paused and laughed. I reached for the notes and coins in it, the circumference of my wrist had to suffer a few scratches. Placing the broken elephant down, I laid back against my rubber-wood bed and started to count my money. RM989.80. That should be enough i thought....(to be continued^^) </span>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-30892797719944838402010-09-04T15:34:00.000+08:002010-09-04T16:09:23.747+08:00Everything has an equal an opposite reaction.....<div style="text-align: justify;">Everything has an equal an opposite reaction. Everything in this world has two sides. It has it's pros and cons. It's always like that. The same goes with school holidays. I was never really fond of it though, I prefer to be not at home and school was my only escape. It's not about WHAT I could do on my free time but more on WHERE i was doing it. Not to mention, I'll be missing out on friends. Even with the abundant technologies around us, it's not the same as actually laughing or talking to a certain someone in person. Besides, it's more convenient, I mean there's no need to worry about that rapidly reducing credit, or that 10pm internet usage curfew. Well, that's for people like me.....for those lucky kids instead, they just bask in the greatness of holidays. Waking up past 10 am, having a big brunch, go out for a movie with friend get back home with bruised feet(for shopaholics) and have a nice warm shower followed with an awesome dinner, facebook. We are still young, we should enjoy life. It's our right, HAK ASASI REMAJA. Happy Holidays and Selamat Hari Raya !!</div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-7270106437717482792010-08-24T13:54:00.000+08:002010-08-24T14:00:13.432+08:00I Require Assistance<div style="text-align: center;">What happens when you fall in love?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Do you feel like your floating up in the air?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Do you feel agonizing pain?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Why do we fall in love anyway?</div><div style="text-align: center;">What do you do when you fall for the wrong person?</div><div style="text-align: center;">How do you it's the right person?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Do you confess right away?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Do you keep it to yourself?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Do you protect them?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Do you hurt them?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Will you abandon them?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Can you abandon them?</div><div style="text-align: center;">How do get over them?</div><div style="text-align: center;">How do you remember them?</div><div style="text-align: center;">How do you move on from them?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I just wanna know....for the first time,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Ignorance</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's killing me</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8736820110046259145.post-65909141701360731072010-08-21T15:29:00.000+08:002010-08-23T22:54:28.084+08:00A Crimson Red Realization<div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">Appreciation. It's something almost all of us lack in. We take almost anything and everything for granted. By and far, almost all of us don't really appreciate our country. Yes, I'm talking about us, Malaysians, not being grateful of our birth land Malaysia. Perseverance. Acceptance. Education. Integrity. Meritocracy. Humility. Loyalty. Culture of Excellence. Does these eight values sound familiar? Well, it's all the values of our '1 Malaysia' concept. I always thought of it as a joke. However, as time pass people change. So did I. Now, I believe in it whole heartedly. Why? Well, this is my story.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">All my life, if I've ever felt indebted to anyone, it had to be my father. He's a fifty-six year old man, very tall with broad shoulders and when he smiled he his dimples on his right cheek. He has a white collar job. Despite sitting in front of a computer all day long his salary is barely enough to make ends meet. Even so, he's always given full priority and attention to my education funds. It pained me to watch him live a dog's life. I've always tried to help him but never had the opportunity. A scholarship. If I could get my hands on a full scholarship, I'm sure i could ease some amount of burden off his shoulders.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">Luckily, I'm capable of getting one. I'm a 19 year old student. not an ordinary one though. I'm the kind that makes all the other kids say,"That dude is just ain't normal" or "That kid's from another planet". Why? Well it's due to my exceptional rapport and resume I have. I'm the school's head prefect, President of the English Club, Secretary of Scouts and the captain of the Badminton Team. A perfect all rounder I was. My recent public exam result, the STPM is enough to make almost every parent in my neighborhood to be either green with envy upon my single father or to be purple with rage at their own kids. It was A+ from top to bottom, all four subjects. I was confident that my application for a scholarship would definitely be approved.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">I was right. Just two weeks upon collecting my STPM results, I received a letter from University S, England. This letter was the turning point of my life. It was 11.15 a.m., the time of the day when mail usually arrived. I went out to fetch today's lot as i heard the engine of a motorbike. i slipped my palm into the pigeon hole at the receiving end. Collecting all three letters, each different in size and paper material. i shuffled the envelopes, identifying their origins and guessing their content. The last letter had my name on it. On it's bottom right corner it had University S, England printed in bold letters. I searched for a ruler on my messy desk, opened the envelope and began reading it's content. I was offered a scholarship and had to attend an interview in England a fortnight from the 17th of August 2010.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">I was in cloud nine. If my father is to know of this he would definitely be as proud as a peacock. I had to tell tell, I just had to, or else i might just blow up. i felt like a six year old on a sugar rush. I quickly dashed out, jumped on my bicycle and paddled as fast as i could to the train station. The warm air ran through my hair. I rode so fast, i nearly crashed at the corners. Reaching the station, I just chucked my bike where the other motorcycles were parked in order almost causing a domino, before rushing to the counter to purchase a ticket. I ran up the stairs, three at a time. Reaching the top, I was slightly relieved as there weren't many people at the que. I continued the short line, behind an old woman and waited for my turn, wiping off the sweat that had dripped from my smooth forehead, to my square jaw line before dropping off my chin. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">After a couple of minutes spent waiting, I was the front in line. I punched my fist into my jeans pocket, reached for the RM5 note and gave it to the woman in charge in exchange for a one way ticket to city central. "That will be RM1.70 sir, with a chan...!!" I snatched the ticket, almost ripping it apart before she could finish her routine dialog and yelled out,"Keep the change!" smiling ear to ear. I didn't intend to be rude, the train would depart at 11.40 a.m. and it was already 11.35 a.m. I had to hurry if not I'd miss it. I looked around for my train and found it at first glance. But guess where? It was at the far front end of the railway track. I sprinted toward it, slipped mt way through the closing doors and fell on my side, making me the center of attraction in the train."Phew! I made it," I thought. I laid on my back for a moment, panting. Then, I turned over and pushed myself up. Now, I had to wait.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">For almost a quarter of an hour, I 'enjoyed' the dull scenery. Finally, the train reached city central. My father worked at the Quill 6 building just a stone's throw away from the train station, here at Masjid Jamek. Now, my only problem was getting into the building. I should call my dad, ask him to come down instead. I patted my pocket hoping to hear a few coins to jingle but it was in vain. I regretted not waiting for my change before. Even though i didn't have a single cent, I proceeded to the telephone booth. Testing luck. I slipped two of my fingers into the change receiving slot with my thumb supporting out. I felt a cold piece of metal, moderate in size. I knew it was a 20 cent coin. I used it to call him.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">While dialing the most familiar set of numbers I had in mind right after the ones on my identification card, I thought of giving him a little shock. I fabricated an amazing story. My father answered on the fifth ring. I started off with a small voice. I told him the house was robbed and I was beaten up badly as the thieves weren't satisfied with the loot. I told him I was frightened, waiting down at the train station near his office wanting to see him."What?! I'll be right there! How bad are you injured? Did you report to the police?" one after another questions filled with concern, rage and worry."Dad, I just wanna...," before I could complete my sentence the time limit came to an end. I felt bad for telling him such a lie. i hung up the phone and walked out along the pavement towards the zebra crossing.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">It was mid-day at city central and it was crowded. The crowd pushed me back and forth as I stood still looking for my father. then, I spotted a familiar face from a far. paler though. It was him, my father. His tie was loose at his chest and a few buttons at the top of his shirt weren't buttoned, exposing his collar bone. From the expression on his face, I could tell he was facing difficulties elbowing his way through a sea of people. But he did. He made his way to the pavement opposite where I was. He saw me. Our eyes met. He stopped for a second and then sprinted across the road ignoring the red light on the traffic signal. In about fives steps, he would have grabbed me, strangling me with a suffocating hug. He could have. Fate however was cruel. A white 2.0 Toyota Camry ran into him.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">Where did that come from? I heard a loud thud, followed by a woman's scream seconds later. It was the first time I witnessed an accident in person. The car's front bumper hit my father at his leg, throwing him in the high enough just to be rammed again. This time the impact of his body cracked the windscreen before throwing him back a few meters, lying on the hot tar road. I was rooted to the ground. I was completely at lost. Coming back to my senses, I rushed to where he was. I knelt down, held him "Dad? Hey, dad you know my...my scholarship got approved. Haha, cool right? Dad, common say something? Dad you can't do this to me, not now, please!". I could see him mouth something as he couldn't voice out what he intended to say. My name. Giving me a smile, with a dimple on his right cheek as usual, he dozed off. I felt his crimson red blood warm against my skin. He was bleeding profusely. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't fix him. I cried.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">Then, I felt someone grab me by the shoulder "We have to get him to a hospital fast!" it was the owner of the Camry. With the assistance of three other men, they carried my father into his car and whisked him to the hospital. Along the way, the man said,"There's a hospital just uptown, we'll head there. I'm Nazarudin by the way," the man. the traffic was only making the situation worse. It took almost a half hour before we reached the Chinese Maternity Hospital. Even though it was a maternity hospital, the staff's didn't make much of a fuss and were generous enough to lend a helping hand. My father was taken into the Emergency Room at haist. I just stood outside watching nurses going in and out with medical equipment. I could only watch. Speechless. Helpless.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">Fear. It completely took over me. When things seemed to settle down, the doctor came out, his gloves smeared in blood. My father's blood. My blood. He asked who brought my father in and immediately Mr. Nazarudin and i stood up. he took off his gloves and handed it to one of the nurse. then took a deep breath and said in a clear, calm voice,"I'm sorry. We couldn't save him. It was too late and he;s lost too much blood,". My knees felt weak. I nearly collapsed but somehow found the zest to stand. Mr Nazarudin apologized. He helped inform the police and handle other formalities. It was late evening, with my directions Mr Nazarudin took me home. He explained the current situation to my neighbor, Mr. Lim and made sure I spent the night at his place. He was concerned. Genuinely. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">I had trouble sleeping that night. the only thought that kept running through my mind was the accident. My father is dead. I killed him. To receive such punishment an account of my mischievousness. It simply wasn't fair. The next morning, Mr. Lim woke me up. He gave me some toiletries, told me to wash up and get ready since Mr. Nazarudin was waiting downstairs. I crawled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. From my reflexion on the mirror, I noticed I had bags under my eyes and a stubble at my chin. Acknowledging the fact that my presence was awaited downstairs, I brushed my teeth, took a quick bath, wore a pair of jeans Mr.Lim had for me with a plain white shirt and went downstairs.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">It was nostalgic. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Just the way my father makes them. We all sat for breakfast. Mrs. Lim had prepared fried noodles. The air was intense and slightly awkward. Mr.Nazarudin then broke the silence,"My wife and I have decided to adopt you. Mr. Lim told us about your academic background and I have to admit, I'm impressed. you see, my brother is one of the senior administrators in University Malaya. I'm sure we can support you till the very end. So, what say you?". The offer was offhand. I was perplexed."Is this some kind of blessing in disguise?"I thought to myself. I glanced over at Mr.Lim and he nodded with approval. He tried to reassure me,"Listen, son. You're a talented young man, you don't always have such offers knocking at your door. Strike the iron while it's hot. Don't worry, you'll be in good hands. Mr. Nazar here is actually an old acquaintance of mine". Life has to move on. I had to make a choice. The right one. Reluctantly, I agreed. The next couple of weeks, Mr. Nazar, his wife and I were busy travelling to and fro Putrajaya to 'adopt me' properly.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span">Did I make the right choice? I don't know. What amazed me is that there are still people who are willing to help. For instance, Mr. Nazarudin, Mr.Lim, the three men at Masjid Jamek, and the staffs at the Chinese Maternity Hospital. All of them offered a free hand regardless what race I was or what religion I practiced. It dawned on me then, that "1 Malaysia" truly exists in everyone. all we need is an opportunity. A chance to prove ourselves. In two weeks the country will be celebrating it's 53rd independence Day, so let us all have a hand in the celebration and live by our country for our country in line with the motto "1 Malaysia; People First, Performance Now".</span></div>royal_abysshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02748397854441538707noreply@blogger.com0